This past Sunday we had “the talk” at Community Church. We took an honest look at the topic of human sexuality and looked at what the Bible teaches us on the subject. We mentioned the topic of that week’s message earlier that week and noticed a significant bump in attendance. The word got out. I don’t think I have ever seen so many men to church on time. I could just hear the guys at home that morning, “Kids, hurry up, get in the car, were going to church. There’s a sermon mom needs to hear.”
It was a unique week for me. I possibly caught a few people off guard when they walked into my office and I was sitting at my table with my nose in a book with the title emblazoned in bright red letters on the cover: “SEX. What You Need to Know about It.” But after lots of cold showers, plenty of prayer and a few personal pep talks, I managed to walk us through three key biblical principles on sex.
The first point of the message was that contrary to what the church lady from Saturday Night Live may have said sex is good. Here are a few more thoughts on that point.
Gary Chapman, expert on marriage and relationships, writes, “God is the author of sex; therefore sex is good. It is sometimes difficult to remember this in a society in which sex has been exploited. Sex is used as an advertising medium to sell everything from automobiles to toothpaste. Espionage movies picture sex as a weapon to get what one wants. Movies and daytime dramas picture sexual unfaithfulness as the norm, and of course, always pleasurable. Perhaps the greatest exploitation of all is the multimillion dollar pornography business.”
Whether through commercial marketing or entertainment, we are being persuaded many times everyday to buy into someone else’s or some companies perspective on sex. There are many messages out there on sex.
Sex is the measure of your worth.
Sex is power and influence.
Sex is the source of deep fulfillment and meaning
Sex is the test of relational chemistry
Sex is the source of transcendence and spirituality. In a culture that has lost faith in the church and God, for many sex becomes religion.
GK Chesterton writes, “In modern Europe and the US, sex has a near-sacred quality of mythic, numinous power. We select our sexiest individuals and accord them the status of gods and goddesses, fawning over the details of their lives…Sex no longer points to something beyond; it becomes the thing itself, the substitute sacred.”
As we face a cacophony of different voices on sex, we need to return to the first voice, the first word on sex—God’s perspective. If we go back to the book of Genesis we see God’s view of sex and God’s viewpoint always starts with marriage. They are inextricable joined together.
Then the book of Genesis makes this statement.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh.”
God creates man and woman for each other. God designed humans to need community and relationships. And the first way God meets that need is by establishing the institution of marriage.
And at the core of marriage is oneness. The passage says that husband and wife would be united and would become one flesh.
First God creates Adam, one person—one flesh. And then out of that one flesh he creates woman. Now two separate, distinct, and unique people which were before one. Marriage is the return to oneness. Through marriage the two become one again. Not just metaphorically, but through the power and mystery of God two are bonded together emotionally, spiritually, relationally, and physically.
Sex is an outward and physical expression of the inward marital bond of oneness. It is a reflection of the deep unity of a man and a woman. And when placed in the context of marriage, sex can be a source of great affirmation of couple’s love for each other.
However, when sex is detached from the marital bond, when sex is done outside of marriage, it is only a hollow, shallow reflection of God’s design for oneness. And instead of being a source of blessing becomes a source of great brokenness, pain, and emptiness. And when that relationship ends a part of us is lost and torn. And do that enough times and you will begin to lose yourself completely and you will teach yourself, unknowingly, to turn off the bonding process. And then when it comes time to marry, intimacy with your spouse will be a problem. I have seen it before.
If you are single, if you are a teenager, you are under great pressure to buy into the perspective that sex is merely a recreational activity and that promiscuity makes no difference as long as you protect yourselves. What they are not telling you is that their message is an illusion that will take a real toll on your life. And the truth is they don’t have your best interests at heart—they just want you to buy their Abercrombie shirt or their CD or movie. It’s all about money. And we have bought into it hook, line, and sinker.
However, God is about restoring goodness into that which has been skewed and distorted. God is about bringing healing into where there has been brokenness. If you have had sex outside of marriage. If you have fallen into temptation, you can start over and ask God to give your strength and to deepen your understanding of God’s perspective on sex.
Having the right perspective is essential to good sex. So, study this one. Gain a better understanding of how God really views sex and if you build your marriage and life upon that view, that perspective, you will find yourself blessed on multiple levels.
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